If you like Harry Potter, but you don't love it, because you can't really get past the fact that while the story is gripping in an opiates-are-addicting kind of way the writing is, frankly, pretty terrible, what with the paper-thin characterization and the hamfisted retconning and the way that in a world allegedly torn apart by dark and violent magic not a single one of the A- or B-tier central characters bites it (come on, at least Neville or Luna should've gone in for a heroic act of self-sacrifice) — and also if you were one of those kids who devoured all those fantasy novels with literary integrity, like J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, but also read all the marvelous crap, too, like Tamora Pierce and David Eddings — and then you grew up and never actually stopped reading books about people discovering that magic is real, but it was the forty to a sixty of zeitgeisty literary fiction, through which you wound up discovering that, cliches be damned, your favorite books of the last decade have been A Home at the End of the World and The Corrections — guys, if this is you, get off the computer and go read The Magicians by Lev Grossman right this very fucking second, because the reason I'm writing a stupid blog post at 3:24 in the morning is because I absolutely completely could not put this book down until I finished it, and now that I'm done I don't want to stop thinking about it. I don't know yet if I loved this book, but it definitely ate me alive.
Behold, the solution to all my "I will die if I have to wear my hair down, but a ponytail is too sporty-casual" dilemmas (which, shut up, happen way more often than I care to admit, and then go totally unresolved):
GUYS. A SIDE TOPSY-TAIL. Not even kidding. It's brilliant. I'm going to wear it tomorrow.
(No, the photo is not me. It's a model from RueLala.)
Want of the day: this stacked set combines so many things that I love (okay, three: optical illusions, the color yellow, bowls) into one pretty pretty package. And it is a mere $45, which means if someone doesn't buy it for me (hint), I could reasonably buy it for myself.
We went to the movies last night to celebrate Mr. B's dad's birthday. He picked Everybody's Fine, on the premise that it is a heartwarming holiday movie about a dad and, you know, it was a heartwarming holiday-season day for us, celebrating a dad. Before we left I watched the trailer:
Guys. THIS TRAILER IS A LIE. First of all, and I know this is nitpicky, but this is not a holiday movie. It takes place during August. Second and more importantly, there is absolutely nothing uplifting about this movie whatsoever. It is not a rollicking family comedy about coming together and love conquering all. It is not an adorable movie in which the importance of a good father is reaffirmed.
It does, however, feature (spoiler alert but this doesn't matter because do not go see this movie, it is terrible) lots and lots of lies, lots of silence and loneliness, intensely unsympathetic characters, vague homophobia, way too many telephone voiceovers, a flashback/dream sequence in which narrative loose ends are hamfistedly resolved and — bonus! — one of Robert DeNiro's kids being unable to come home because he is in a Mexican jail. And just when the other kids are about to tell their dad where the fourth sibling is, and I was thinking to myself "how on earth are they going to say 'David is in a Mexican jail' without this sounding completely ridiculous?" it turned out that the screenwriters got around that by making David die. He died in a Mexican jail. Oh also the very last line uttered in the movie is the movie's title. I hate that.